city girl meets the desert

It's been such a longtime I know. And a lot of travelling (at last!), X-mas parties and New Year's by the beach have happened.

But this is also not a travel book, so I will just highlight what I feel like, if you don't mind, the beautiful places that I've been to here in Jordan and the fact that again my internet connection is not working properly will allow you to imagine those places the way you want them to be. Free your mind =)

So I had some vacation time lately, first one in November (called Eid-al-Adha) which is the weekend where they slaughter lambs and then share the meat with family, friends and even unknown poor people - I watche a film of it and still cannot believe they do it with the whole family watching. Then I went to Wadi Rum and had like 4 hours in Aqaba (and some extra 8h for sleeping). So mainly I can say I was in deep awe with Wadi Rum, perhaps even in love.

Wadi Rum is one of the places I have most been longing for since I arrived to Jordan. I knew that it would be great, but still I didn't expect to like it so much. It's absolutely, unforgettably, irresistibly magnificent!

Wherever you look you'll find something beautiful, more beautiful than the previous or just the kind of thing you once saw in photos, not really sure if it actually really existed. And when you join that to a great company (3, and at a certain point 4, travelling companions), it just makes the perfect vacation. By the time that things get hectic around me, work pressure increases and much is happening at a fast pace, I got my own piece of paradise, in the middle of nowhere and this city girl, this girl that loves theatres and cultural animations, who likes nature because it's so inconstant, just fell in love with the peace and quietness of the desert, the cinematic Rum.

I could honestly even stay there on a full-retreat week... and believe me, I'm not the buddhist or self-contemplative type. Then we came back to Aqaba and I put my feet on the Red Sea water, which was a relief for this Portuguese who was missing terribly her Atlantic ocean, the waves, the sand, the sound of the sea. I had a little bit of the sea sound, that's already not bad :)

Then I went back to Amman, life went on, a great conference was organized and delivered, many emotional moments and Christmas approaching, my first one away from home, kind of unplanned but it all turned out an interesting experience. I cannot lie and say it was the same as coming back home or that I didn't miss people, places, decorations, food, presents or just previously slightly annoying tasks like putting up the nativity scene by the fireplace or trying to get accross a whole sentence and answer from my great grandmother (who's becoming a bit deaf but Christmas is one of the rare times I get to see her and smile at her, mostly that cause communication is faint ha).

I missed all of those things and it's fine I did, it means no matter how much or less I value the whole season these traditions are part of my history, a good part of it, and I'll either soon be able to recreate them for myself or I will cherish even more when I go back and spend it again with my loved ones. Being away is not the end of the world to me, if you know me you know this about me, but I hope this also makes me become more caring about those moments I will not have back, those people that I wish I could bring in my pocket wherever I go (as that would just be the ideal solution).

So for X-mas I had an international dinner on the 24th, a bit Christmassy but not so much. Still the cooking and the friends made it interesting, the final food "output" not so much hehe, but this is the uniqueness of celebrating Christmas away from family. If you're wondering, Portuguese reader, I prepared pastéis de pescada (à falta de bacalhau :P), arroz de tomate and then chamuças/sambosa (this last one not Portuguese at all, but easy to do and those were the ingredients I had at hand).

Then for the 25th, we had a lunch with the team I work with and a Tunisian friend, so actually the only Christian in the room was myself. To make it even more typical :P, I prepared a curry dish with the help of Dana, one of my colleagues, and then roasted chestnuts - which for me equal Christmas and yummy wherever I may be. And for them it seemed to have worked as well, so I was happy :) So if you're wondering if I'm a lousy cook or just a lousy Portuguese-cuisine cook I have to say - come and search for the ingredients - because the most typical things, are either not eaten by locals (like pork), very expensive (meat in general and chicken just seems wrong as a replacement), or they are simply very hard to find (like the codfish and the ingredients for cozido).

Anyway, it was a cozy late lunch (at least this part screams Portugal and especially my place) and then I had the opportunity to meet friends and have great conversations, as well as missing for the 4th time or so going to the church- I still have not managed to successfully attend one single mass - I found the church nearby, now the issue is what kind of schedule do they work with, every single time I pass by the church it's closed and with no indication or sign of contacts/open hours. So it's getting annoying even for a not so religious person.

Lastly, about one week ago we had New Year's. Me and most of my friends here worked the 31st and then we headed off as fast as the rental tires could roll to Aqaba, to at last feel the wonders of the beach side at the earliest of 2010. SO we got there finally about 30 minutes before midnight and we went straight to the beach for champagne, photos and final countdown. Then some went inside the water - the next day when I walked there I realized how painful it must have been to enter that water yayks coz the usual sand is for some reason very rare there - and the others joined a fireplace with some reggae tunes as background. (Small remark: Wadi Rum and other parts of the desert are about 40 km away and there you got sand till where the eye can reach).

The party continued - obviously - but the best came next day, when we woke up to see an amazing summer day (day 1 of 2010), had breakfast by the swimming pool and commented on the weird tourist who went inside that freezing water while some of the group threw some sarcastic, sleep-deprived but still funny jokes as we took our first bite on our first bread & hoummus of the year. And then we crossed the street and went to sleep/sunbathe/swim/dive/walk in the beach. Main thing, we were in the beach, it was almost too hot at a certain point and we had a nice bunch of people, representing our own little international community here in Jordan - 4 Jordanians included btw.

I had to leave that same day, had the first grilled fish that evening in Aqaba city centre in my 6-month Middle East history (and it was very good!) and we came back, arriving to cold and foggy Amman by 2am. The next day, I went to Irbid - I like coming back to that city, there's something about it -, very sleepy in the morning, a bit more awaken in the afternoon and so tired in the evening when I got home again to Amman.

So these were my holidays: exciting, extenuating at times, short and in very good company. I had fun and still I missed home - it's maybe not the best time to be away from home but it was an atypical, surprising and different time here in Jordan. I even got to taste Samo, these kind of chocolate pyramids kids eat here a lot! They are delicious, and Christmas for me is always delicious =)

And one of my NY's resolutions... I'll try my best to write here more often and with more pictures :)

Have a bold and ravishing 2010! :)

What if God was one of us?

Religion is everywhere here. From the smallest remarks (insh'allah in the end of many sentences) to the big things, the most different aspects of living here (Ramadan, the call for prayer in the mosks, the "hijab" - scarf used by many girls).

And so this is something highly different for me, used to having my own personal religion. This video probably reflects how I feel about this topic and the unique distance that lays between us on this very specific, very important, but sometimes most overrated matter.




If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him
In all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?

And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that
you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets

Trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome

in the heart of a promegranate

Gibran Khalil Gibran is an Arabic poet (Lebanese-American). This is an excerpt written by him which I really liked just as an example and it's very appropriate since my surname Granada means pomegranate :) (besides grenade as in bomb :P)

THE POMEGRANATE

Once when I was living in the heart of a pomegranate, I heard a seed saying, "Someday I shall become a tree, and the wind will sing in my branches, and the sun will dance on my leaves, and I shall be strong and beautiful through all the seasons."
Then another seed spoke and said, "When I was as young as you, I too held such views; but now that I can weigh and measure things, I see that my hopes were vain."
And a third seed spoke also, "I see in us nothing that promises so great a future."
And a fourth said, "But what a mockery our life would be, without a greater future!"
Said a fifth, "Why dispute what we shall be, when we know not even what we are."
But a sixth replied, "Whatever we are, that we shall continue to be."
And a seventh said, "I have such a clear idea how everything will be, but I cannot put it into words."
Then an eighth spoke - -and a ninth -- and a tenth -- and then many -- until all were speaking, and I could distinguish nothing for the many voices.
And so I moved that very day into the heart of a quince, where the seeds are few and almost silent.

Across the universe

Today this is gonna be a random post. Just so you know...

My mom came to town and visited me for the past 2 weeks, or to be more exact I was with her not more than 5 of those days but still it was ... not sure how to describe it exactly... unexpected. Having her here and suddenly changing back my routine, figuring out about the typical places she ought to go to get to know Jordan in a condensed way (falafel, hoummus, mansaf, citadelle, museums, arabic tents and pateos,...) when those were sometimes places I never went before, realizing that the way she perceives this place, my life here or so many things will always be different from the way I see it and live it each day.

She is the most adorable person on earth, don't get me wrong, she really is but she made me realize how privileged I am at 24 to have been and done so much and that I don't ever wanna wait till I'm old and rich to travel and walk each mile of those places I still want to go to or live in. I'd rather do it right now, with 1JD in the pocket and a falafel sandwich in my hand. Besides people, there's not much else I need... maybe a cat now!

And we went to Syria! "She measures time not by days and months and years, but by the empires she has seen rise and crumble to ruin. She is a type of immortality..." now imagine this told by a deep and mature voice, a bit National Geographic channel style, and we're talking about Damascus by the writer Mark Twain.

To be honest it didn't look that old but it's got a charm of its own, I loved the long, narrow souk streets, the thousands "you are welcome!" and the bargaining, the tasty food in the courtyards and the mix between mosks, churches, roman archs and ancient city walls. I only missed the mint tea and walking for miles, coz there is no better way to get to know a place.

And then after 2 days I felt at home coming back, suddenly having to say goodbye to my mom when entering the cab that would take her back to the hotel that didn't allow us to cancel the reservation and in the rush emptied of emotions over practicalities, not like the day I first saw her here and made me drop some shy tears...

For some reason I will miss her a bit more now but she didn't fit exactly with the landscape, she will always feel home to me but here I feel I am part of the picture now too. It might be because of the cat (which by the way is now also staring at this screen), but tonight I feel like a beduin, don't know if there is really a fixed place for me.

And things too changed in just 2 days here, there were things I missed and people who came back, there's a different mood in some but the cat recognized me... I wrote today that there is no other place I'd rather be right now and it still feels right.

I guess travelling makes me good, now I gotta go take the cat to sleep.

Good night = Tessbaa- l-khair!

something's wrong with the world today and I don't know what it is

I was watching the news today and the G20 are gathering once more. Now they are negotiating about a world without nuclear weapons, avoiding to talk about the world bank system and dwelling again with another episode of the Israeli-Palestinian endless conflict.

There have also been many floods in different countries and elections are knocking on the door.

But for the first time a vaccin against the HIV seems to be able to reduce the risk of infection and H1N1 vaccination will start in October. So good news from the labs!

Still it doesn't really matter today. I still feel bored and not in the mood. I'll care later but not today, not this moment, not now.

Because we can have so many words and still don't talk, we can have so much in common and still not do the effort, we can have the highest reasons and still nothing changes. Unless we do.

And I won't talk about the food this time, coz I don't feel like eating. I won't enjoy a movie when it's not a TV that I want in front of me. I won't feel at home not because I miss too much somewherelse but because here there is not the place for me I thought I'd find. I won't talk it over to find that nothing really changes. And I won't really appreciate all that you may seem because I still don't know you.

I don't know where to start so I'll just jump to the middle. I wanna walk again but not feel like I need instead of staying in, I don't want to feel like I need a cat or some other prop to make it better, and I don't want to keep saying goodbye to those I start caring about to be left with those I ought to care for. Because the ought doesn't work anymore and there is no in-between, you either care or you don't.

So how do we do start caring (again)?
I'm willing to... but if and only if you are too...

snapshots of a Jordanian life (written on a mini-bus to Marj al Hamam)

• Ramadan Kareem sung on the streets while we pass by
• finding my adopted sister is Russian (!) and I met her here in Jordan :)
• let's order: "wahed humus, khamse falafel, ithnin chai o (and)... bread, how do you say bread?? :D
• driving back on a car with another 6 people and trying the whole way to hide from the police
• teaching the price of the bus to another foreigner who spoke Arabic and was wondering if 35 piasters means taht he's being robbed by the bus boy
• taking a taxi and telling the driver the directions by simple words like schmal (left), douguri (straight ahead), ayemin (right), la (no) and nus-nus (half-half, but for me works as well as "sort of")
• telling the taxi driver to head to McDonald's as a reference point to where I was going during the day in Ramadan, with him replying back "Ramadan Kareem", as in "it's Ramadan and you're going to Mac and break the fast?..."
• realizing that Jordanian kids are very similar to Portuguese ones (and in fact children all over)... they can go from angels to brats in seconds! Still we like them =)
• trying to upload photos of some iftars at 3am on the 27th Ramadan
• drinking tea and talking about the world and nothing on the terrace, while we hear the prayer of the mosk nearby

Tomorrow is Eid, the official end of Ramadan month. I think I'll miss it later during my year here... on the other hand, now travelling will be much easier! wohoo!!

these feet were made for walking

So Amman is not the best city to walk through.

You don't have sidewalks on some streets, but still it's fine; if a taxi sees you busy walking the driver will start honking because he automatically assumes you probably were searching for one and even though you know exactly which direction to go you'll find yourself sometimes making huge unnecessary turns around to get to a certain place, because there is an unexpected hill between the streets you wanted to cross or the road you're taking suddenly becomes a dead end.

So in the end you'll walk more. And the beauty is that you walk up and down the hills, between the houses, and get a superb view of the green lights coming from the mosks, also the shining crescent moons and stars that are the typical symbols of Ramadan and the city lights at the distance.

The weather is soft and fresh during the nights and the sun is kind during the days. If it wouldn't be for Ramadan and wanting to know what fasting feels like, I would spend my free time outside as much as possible.

But I did break my fast already. Two days ago I walked for 4 hours to renew my visa (currently applying for residency but it's taking ages), I didn't buy a bottle of water coz you are not supposed to drink in the streets during the daytime out of respect so I got back home completely dry, drank loads of water, threw water over my face and all over and rest my feet.

In half an hour I was alive again, took a shower and prepared myself for an Iftar out of home. Iftar (breakfast because it's the first meal of the day) takes place after the fasting and now with Ramadan in August it starts a bit after 7pm.

This is when we break the fast, then we can eat and drink normally the whole night and the fasting restarts at around 4am. At first I was waking up to eat something then or staying up till then, but now it's already easy if you eat just before going to bed, at 1am or around. The working schedule gets slightly shorter, you still start around 9am but finish at 3 or 4pm.

It's family time but it ends up being a really short meal because everyone is so hungry that in 15mins they are finished eating. This is so non-Portuguese style... or at least Granada style, where a meal takes hours if we allow it :D

But the point was, and going back to the walking aspect of it, Amman is a beautiful city to discover on foot. Even if the streets or the taxidrivers make you think otherwise, with Ramadan or without or when you get 7 people in a row telling you the wrong directions and out of their unique kindness wanting to call a taxi for you... as long as you can admire the view on the other side of the hill or the fresh breeze ("nessma") in your face it will have been worthwhile and three hours sooner or later you'll get there, based on hints and without a map.

And the wonderful thing is that you got everything it takes to get you there: your feet and your eyes to admire the view.

you cannot not communicate

Communication is for me one of the most important things in the world. It is the reason why I am fascinated with what (and especially who) surrounds me and the best way I have to learn.

But it's not immediate, actually it's more like something I sometimes have to work hard on and it's much more than speaking the same language. Although this also helps :)

I don't speak Arabic yet, unless I can communicate only by saying shukran (thank you), kifek/kifak (how are you), saha (bless you), tayeb (ok), kunsadiqi (private joke, means "be my friend" and it's taken from a song) and I still don't know how exactly I'll translate "saudade", "Santos Populares" and "gente da minha terra".

It sounds nostalgic but I feel it as an unconditional part of settling in. The fact that I moved country, am away from family and friends, don't feel the seabreaze or go to the beach now that it's summer it's not because I no longer like it there or got bored, it's much more than wanting to change places or experience something different. It's about what one strives for and what one believes in. I believe I can do something here. So I am here. Despite the language barriers, realising that there are barely any Portuguese here or for that matter knowledge of where Portugal is or what it is known for (which can actually be an advantage) or that living in Jordan turned out to be a bit expensive. Tudo vale a pena quando a alma não é pequena.

So I'll keep trying, failing and each time doing better to communicate. Innovate in it and become loser and closer in my own time. Learning also about what and when to give in and what I won't give away ever. Not excluding or exaggerating any part of it, any part of myself.

Btw, this is not a photo blog. Although I will for sure post some pics here, there's facebook and so many other places that do just the same. Just so you know, coz to be honest I keep forgetting my camera. Might be because between the world and me I prefer not to have a camera lens. Or it just might be obliviousness.

tonight, tomorrow and every other day

Today I officially start my functions here in Jordan. Believe is part of my promise, what I'll look for. But it is only the first step for amazing things to happen.

See you at infinity!

a film with a view

Tonight there was a film festival on refugees at one of the busiest spot in Amman, near Rainbow street (Jabal Amman). "God grew tired of us" was the name of the documentary, talking about the Lost Boys from Sudan, erratically moving from place to place until they fly to the US... restart their lives, readapt to a society that is so close to us that at some point it was funny and poetic to see how they actually didn't know a thing about "whether i'll be able to use electricity" or that "chips are ready, cooked!"

So the film was great but more even so the place where we were, coz it was in this backyard garden with the most beautiful view over downtown Amman, slight scent of flowers from the trees around us and for some unexplained reason fireworks kept emerging from different points of the landscape.

This is definitely one of my first addictions here, that from a higher hill you can get a magnificient view of an immense bunch of houses, mosks, streets and mountains at the distance, with their overall earthly colours at different lights, whether it's the break of the day, the sun's up or about to set. I'm very much a colour-person but still it seems beautiful, peaceful and relaxing to look at.

Quoting from the film: "If I was born tall then there's a reason for it, I have a purpose to fulfill." Right?

where the streets have no names

This is my third weekend here and still i don't know how to move around by transportation in Amman. It's actually kind of embarassing and ego-damaging for my generally very independent and walk-about ways but I'll get there eventually... just need to learn basic taxi-drivers' Arabic (hun - here -, schwei - slow down, a litlle) and how to get to the circles. Maps are outdated most of the times, so follow my advice, stick to the circles.

Important Notice: if you wanna go around Amman, forget about street names (they exist, but no-one really knows or uses them), focus on the 8 circles (roundpoints ranging from big to tiny, barely noticeable) and landmarks, although this is also tricky cause it might be pure luck to find a taxi driver who actually knows what you're talking about... And if he doesn't, most probably will keep going randomly until you notice it because he won't admit his ignorance.

And i don't keep talking about taxis because I'm a fancy person (though I am too :P), but because apart from them you have basically private cars and buses which don't go everywhere and don't leave until they're full and again you should know some Arabic already or know basic way of how to get to a place so that when they say a name it actually rings a bell to you and you drop off. And taxis here are cheap, which makes sense, given the situation. So public transportation here could definitely be better, reach more places and be more constant. But it's also part of the charm!

But all of this because I'm planning to go to Jara, friday open air fair, in fact a lot of people want to come too but none seem to know exactly how to get there... including Jordanians! So I guess we'll follow someone's advice and ask to be taken to Rainbow St (which is actually not the real street name but everyone calls it like that) and then look around until I find lots of people and the market on the right.

Until I improve my scarce Arabic and learn by heart where the circles are =)

I'm leaving now!

feels like home now

Today.

One day after a weekend where I met about 50 extraordinary people I'll be working with throughout the year, where I challenged myself and had interesting, hilarious, touching and also random talks, where I slept less hours and lived more intensely, where I got up on the roof and saw the sun rising while around people were speaking in Arabic and still I could get a sense of what they were saying, where I felt inspired and proud.

It had to be today and i couldn't delay the blog for any longer. Because today, or right after the conference to be more exactly, when i couldn't sleep but then I landed in my bed until the next day, because now I feel that I'm at home. I'll have a Jordanian heart and soul from now on and it probably won't vanish even after I leave.

So this is not the best intro to this blog but it's the most immediate message I had to tell. Later on, I promise to tell more, like where I'm staying, what I'm doing exactly, what I eat and what do I do in the meantime. But that's not the most important now. The main thing is that I'm home now, in Amman, Jordan.