accidental learning

In Jordan, I’ve been travelling, working, meeting new people, trying to speak Arabic, walking through unwalkable places, forgetting to take photos and having great talks. But most of all I think I’ve been learning, so many and so diverse things that most often I realize that an international experience is like a full-time job, doesn’t give you too much rest to the mind!

So I’ll share some of the things I’ve been learning but don’t be shocked about how small or meaningless they may seem. Now I’m curious to see if I’ll also be learning as much when I come back to Portugal again and if throughout my life I’ll keep on learning as many silly things, if I’ll keep looking at things the same way as if I was still ten.

So after 7 months and 25 days, this is a list of the things I’ve learned (and can remember right now). I learned that:
… my hand after eating mansaf the traditional way feels like I’ve been swimming: warm and wrinkly :)
… my closest friends most often won’t be the people I work or live with – there must actually be a logical explanation for this because it’s not boredom but it happens quite easily!
… I like to pretend that I am a local and feel really proud of myself to talk for a brief while in Arabic until they uncover me or I do it myself :P (but sometimes they don’t =D)
… I can still share my 3JDs left with someone who has only 1JD not out of pure friendship but for common understanding
… I feel more cozy travelling in the dark, unpredictable and sex-biased buses than by taxi
… a cat sometimes just needs to play and I should too!
… sometimes it’s better to tell things that will make people worried about me because they will sooner or later and then they will be mad at me!
… sometimes I can’t help but to be selfish and not want to sharing
… there are unthinkable ways to bring affinity between 2 people but there are also the fastest ways to lose it again
… after being asked “where are you from?”, Jordanians will automatically reply “welcome” – no matter in what context and how well you know them
… I think I can be authentic and still hide very well something (and I still didn’t understand whether this is a strength or a huge flaw)
… I don’t know how to reply positively to compliments, but I prefer them to nothing
… I can deal with lack of material things (most things, sometimes even food), but I cannot deal with lack of teamwork and cooperation
… no matter how much I try certain behaviours around me don’t change – and even knowing so I will continue trying to change them
… I don’t and will keep avoiding as much as possible to ask favours from others
… I recognize that affection is so different in some parts of Europe and here in the Middle East, even when the underlying feelings are as strong
… I can be bad at managing the time, but when it comes to people I have to compensate them (unless I forget!)
… I keep forgetting to check up on the fire while cooking and I normally don’t stay longer than 2 consecutive minutes in the kitchen – and this has consequences most often! :S
… I usually multi-task and if I don’t I feel like I’m wasting my time
… my mood can change by the most random talk, a good company even if for an hour or kind words through the screen at times
… crying in front of the laptop screen can be less sad than in front of someone but laughing in front of the same screen never gets as good as the real thing
… I never thought I would take so long to focus and start improving my Arabic
… I have a thing for rooftops
… even if I am a breakfast-person (love long, full breakfasts), I now can go out without taking it – but still I don’t want to change that
… this has been as much of a cultural experience for me as for the ones working closely with me – dealing with a Portuguese in Jordan is as unique as a Portuguese living in Jordan!

Now I’m leaving for some more learning, will tell you about later, when it hits me :)

decided

Birthdays have this impact on me, they make me think even more than usual. But because thinking is not enough, i came to some decisions, which I will struggle to keep maybe not only for one year like NY's resolutions but for longer... we'll see!

I decided that I won't allow myself being influenced by the laziness, my limitations and the longing for something different in doing what I initially wanted to do.

I decided that I will use my free time better and spend most of it on the sun, learning Arabic, travelling and being with my people here.

I decided to realize that I am not the best flatmate neither and it's so hard, it requires patience and some compromise to live with someone you are supposed to, not that you chose.

I decided that sometimes the best is to be fake and pleasant because a shared untruth sometimes is as best as it gets.

I decided that I will stop thinking I know what's best for me but keep my eyes wide open for the opportunities that could be.

I decided that as much as I like cats or even dogs, I can only stay indoor and take care of them for a while.

I decided that I miss and need home so it's ok to question your decisions and rethink plans, undecide... it'll come to me sooner or later.

I decided to realize that I care about what people think, but even so to keep on being as I am - how strange, awkward and none of your business it may seem.

I decided that nothing's irremediably lost but the fact is that we're just losing time that won't come back.

I decided that there's a limit to what you can compromise culturally speaking, then it makes no longer sense, because you might give in what is authentic in you - and people aren't allowed to ask that from you.

I decided that you can keep hope but illusions are an unnecessary waste of time.

I decided to admit that I miss you and maybe that's not a problem but the solution.