It's been so long, I've missed sharing things with you! Busy in a new neighbourhood, enjoying summer/autumn swing with friends and finally taking pictures again (will be posting them soon).
But found this poem randomly while in the middle of work. Couldn't help it, it's beautiful. There is something immensely beautiful and tragic about the Arabic culture. Come along with me...
We have on this earth what makes life worth living: April’s
– hesitation, the aroma of bread
at dawn, a woman’s point of view about men, the works of
– Aeschylus, the beginning
of love, grass on a stone, mothers living on a flute’s sigh and
– the invaders’ fear of memories
We have on this earth what makes life worth living: the
– final days of September, a woman
keeping her apricots ripe after forty, the hour of sunlight in
– prison, a cloud reflecting a swarm
of creatures, the peoples’ applause for those who face death
– with a smile, a tyrant’s fear of songs.
We have on this earth what makes life worth living: on this
– earth, the Lady of Earth,
mother of all beginnings and ends. She was called
– Palestine. Her name later became
Palestine. My Lady, because you are my Lady, I deserve life.
Mahmoud Darwish (1942-2008)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Chopin in Amman
This post was written 2 days ago but only today I got internet connection to send it.
Some things which you take for granted just are so different when you are in some other place. Well for me classical music turned from boring and repetitive to the best soul soundtrack since I went abroad. I had noticed this already before – when I attended the first classical music concert maybe ever in my life but at least as far as I can remember.
Because whenever I go to a classical music concert what happens to me is that I enter in a different world – still like my world and my thoughts but somehow it seems an alternative, third-person perception. I reflect and lose myself in my thoughts at the sound of a prelude; a sonate ends up creating the cozy mood of somewhere rather distant and familiar – so familiar that it’s my life but through a different perspective. So I get my twilight zone by listening to classical music – music that I normally don’t listen to at home, or maybe this is exactly why, because it’s somehow different to what I am used to – and I like what’s different, have you noticed? :)
Well I started thinking that I was with a foreign group of friends and even if there were about three Jordanians in the group it was still a very international group, the same for the people we had around us and strange as it may seem we internationals become more interested in what’s happening around us, we get more curious and we actually are more active in our lifestyle when we are abroad. This happened to me before when I was in France for a year, not only with my introduction to classical music, but also with theatre (something I miss so much here, because there isn’t much and what there is sometimes it's not in English), concerts =), films, art galleries premieres and much more! And it’s not because there are more things here, it’s rather because the foreigners learn to search more, don’t settle for old or lazy habits and won’t make so much presumptions about what they are about to attend: we just want to live and breath all that we can and at the same time connect to what is familiar from back home.
So I went to an unusually familiar concert organized by the French Cultural Centre and the Polish Embassy and I felt suddenly in Europe. A couple of trainees working here came too – well more than a couple but what I found ironic is that beside a Polish trainee who came with another Polish friend and myself the other trainees were not even European. In fact a couple of them were from two apart countries and continents: Asia and America and, curious thing, the only European living with them was exactly the one who didn’t come to the concert.
And then I got to see a dear Jordanian friend, who I’ve been planning to see for weeks and always miserably failed! And a good friend who doesn’t join the group often also came, we still didn’t manage to mingle everyone together totally but we are trying and we will keep until she is part of us. So it was definitely a night with friends, just a different type of night out – though it did involve shawerma (this is how we spell it here in Jordan) and soft drinks – the typical Jordanian fast food on the concert hall minutes before it started :D That way, I can actually say there was something Jordanian about tonight.
Well then, and going back to the topic that made me start this post, I started rambling around in my head and thinking – mainly about the things that happened recently and what is on the back of my mind. I started by noticing the movements in the pianists – the second one was the most active, expressive pianist I’ve seen in a while, he was living the highs and the lows in the melody in such a dramatic way that I then begun to think how could this possible – could this be someone who lived solely for the music and that is why he was giving so much and expressing it so deep with every note he played OR could he personally be quite the opposite, someone who just lives at the highest pitch, in a crazy and ridiculous intensity that it takes so much energy out of him that he can afford to play the exact same way and keep it up – that he knows nothing more than being intense?
I will never really know about that pianist (Nima was his name), but I can reflect on that for myself. I can recognize that most of the times, my best me is the one who also lives things intensely, the good and the bad but that always has a positive outlook on the outcomes, so someone who hardly goes down and usually tries to lift the others around – sometimes even before herself. And then today I was told to be less inclusive. And I want to disagree, I feel like I should and somehow I know I won’t change much in that sense because deep inside I feel like it would no longer be me that less inclusive being. But maybe I should start being less inclusive, maybe I should be less of an optimistic, maybe I should experience things in a lesser higher pitch like the saddest and happiest moments in a piece of music and the amazing faces the pianist was making while playing them. Maybe I should be less black or white but I don’t know if the should is what I want, so I am not sure if I’m willing to change that and become more centered, more halfway, more mild and never getting so down but also not reaching so high neither.
I always tend to consider the overall, the big picture of things and how the way you love should relate to the way you are friends with, to the way you hate or lose interest, to everythig you do in fact. If you are intense about one, then you should be about the others, if you are selfish in a sense it is difficult to imagine that you are truly selfless in some other context, that we are in the end sometimes divided into those who use others and those who are used by others – and I like none of those options, but could this really be the way the world revolves?
This is a very important thing that has become more and more conscious to me over these past months, more than it ever was when I was abroad, maybe because usually there were much more similarities: to what extent is the change within you a new place brings good and desired, according to yourself? And this makes me as aware as I can about who I want to become. And I want to become a wholesome person, I strive for that and I try to show the same face everytime, just with slight variances and shades of course, but the same core when I’m at work, when I’m partying, when I’m resting with friends and when I’m with myself looking back on my way. I wrote this in the beginning of my blog and I meant it – this is also a trip to becoming the person I want to be, not only about the good things I’ve learned and acquired but how to cope and improve the lesser good parts in me and around. The balance so far is that I’m learning to reject those things which I don’t identify with: behaviours, mindsets, feelings, statuses quo. I have to question them and I won’t settle for the norm of not doing so. But this is far from peaceful sometimes...
And I thought as well about some news I just got today – something that made me have a mix of feelings in the beginning, very honestly, but then made me be quite happy for two friends of mine who are now together and it is a rather complicated situation (a Jordanian with a non Jordanian), that I really just wish them the best of luck! I also thought about the fact that I still don’t know any other Portuguese in Amman except for my consul and his family (but they are actually not Portuguese at all, rather Jordanians, so it’s still not the same) and how strange this is – would it be better or worse to have some other home citizens around? I have never much thought of this before, but can someone be lonely for not knowing their unknown compatriots who by random chance live in the same city or country as them?
Then I thought about how tired I’ve been recently, how much I have been abusing of computers since all my work revolves around them and I need them for the biggest to the smallest things: sending emails and communicating with members, checking facebook and being updated on my friends’ news from around the world while I also update them with the most (ir)relevant info that I highlight from my days (yes, here as well :P).. That I have to use it to talk to my mom in particular but I was unable to do so since I got back about 2/3 weeks ago because of other things and now coz I have no internet at home. That I also use it to check pictures people tag me in (and to upload the pics I’m still supposed to show about my Jordan!), so in the end it's like a life in itself, a life behind a screen :S
I was trying to close my eyes on parts of the concert, which might be why I found the 2nd pianist much more vibrant (I missed part of the first)– but then I guess it’s also my eyes and I like to see those people that put their lives and souls into what they do… and I thought about things that I may be doing wrong here, how to fix uncomfortable situations (what’s the point of enduring them, even if for only 4 months and something now?) and if the end of my Jordanian life will still have a twist like in the Hollywood films.
Don’t get me wrong, this has been an amazing experience and I will probably look back on this year filled with nostalgia, but this has also been one of the toughest, unclear and exhausting years I’ve ever had, in many ways it has been impacting me for the best and worst reasons and that is why Jordan will always be in my heart and like a local I will never really quite get it entirely.
And what’s best, I can’t read the end of the book yet and I am not sure how it’s going to end up – this is the best suspense story I’ve ever lived.
Some things which you take for granted just are so different when you are in some other place. Well for me classical music turned from boring and repetitive to the best soul soundtrack since I went abroad. I had noticed this already before – when I attended the first classical music concert maybe ever in my life but at least as far as I can remember.
Because whenever I go to a classical music concert what happens to me is that I enter in a different world – still like my world and my thoughts but somehow it seems an alternative, third-person perception. I reflect and lose myself in my thoughts at the sound of a prelude; a sonate ends up creating the cozy mood of somewhere rather distant and familiar – so familiar that it’s my life but through a different perspective. So I get my twilight zone by listening to classical music – music that I normally don’t listen to at home, or maybe this is exactly why, because it’s somehow different to what I am used to – and I like what’s different, have you noticed? :)
Well I started thinking that I was with a foreign group of friends and even if there were about three Jordanians in the group it was still a very international group, the same for the people we had around us and strange as it may seem we internationals become more interested in what’s happening around us, we get more curious and we actually are more active in our lifestyle when we are abroad. This happened to me before when I was in France for a year, not only with my introduction to classical music, but also with theatre (something I miss so much here, because there isn’t much and what there is sometimes it's not in English), concerts =), films, art galleries premieres and much more! And it’s not because there are more things here, it’s rather because the foreigners learn to search more, don’t settle for old or lazy habits and won’t make so much presumptions about what they are about to attend: we just want to live and breath all that we can and at the same time connect to what is familiar from back home.
So I went to an unusually familiar concert organized by the French Cultural Centre and the Polish Embassy and I felt suddenly in Europe. A couple of trainees working here came too – well more than a couple but what I found ironic is that beside a Polish trainee who came with another Polish friend and myself the other trainees were not even European. In fact a couple of them were from two apart countries and continents: Asia and America and, curious thing, the only European living with them was exactly the one who didn’t come to the concert.
And then I got to see a dear Jordanian friend, who I’ve been planning to see for weeks and always miserably failed! And a good friend who doesn’t join the group often also came, we still didn’t manage to mingle everyone together totally but we are trying and we will keep until she is part of us. So it was definitely a night with friends, just a different type of night out – though it did involve shawerma (this is how we spell it here in Jordan) and soft drinks – the typical Jordanian fast food on the concert hall minutes before it started :D That way, I can actually say there was something Jordanian about tonight.
Well then, and going back to the topic that made me start this post, I started rambling around in my head and thinking – mainly about the things that happened recently and what is on the back of my mind. I started by noticing the movements in the pianists – the second one was the most active, expressive pianist I’ve seen in a while, he was living the highs and the lows in the melody in such a dramatic way that I then begun to think how could this possible – could this be someone who lived solely for the music and that is why he was giving so much and expressing it so deep with every note he played OR could he personally be quite the opposite, someone who just lives at the highest pitch, in a crazy and ridiculous intensity that it takes so much energy out of him that he can afford to play the exact same way and keep it up – that he knows nothing more than being intense?
I will never really know about that pianist (Nima was his name), but I can reflect on that for myself. I can recognize that most of the times, my best me is the one who also lives things intensely, the good and the bad but that always has a positive outlook on the outcomes, so someone who hardly goes down and usually tries to lift the others around – sometimes even before herself. And then today I was told to be less inclusive. And I want to disagree, I feel like I should and somehow I know I won’t change much in that sense because deep inside I feel like it would no longer be me that less inclusive being. But maybe I should start being less inclusive, maybe I should be less of an optimistic, maybe I should experience things in a lesser higher pitch like the saddest and happiest moments in a piece of music and the amazing faces the pianist was making while playing them. Maybe I should be less black or white but I don’t know if the should is what I want, so I am not sure if I’m willing to change that and become more centered, more halfway, more mild and never getting so down but also not reaching so high neither.
I always tend to consider the overall, the big picture of things and how the way you love should relate to the way you are friends with, to the way you hate or lose interest, to everythig you do in fact. If you are intense about one, then you should be about the others, if you are selfish in a sense it is difficult to imagine that you are truly selfless in some other context, that we are in the end sometimes divided into those who use others and those who are used by others – and I like none of those options, but could this really be the way the world revolves?
This is a very important thing that has become more and more conscious to me over these past months, more than it ever was when I was abroad, maybe because usually there were much more similarities: to what extent is the change within you a new place brings good and desired, according to yourself? And this makes me as aware as I can about who I want to become. And I want to become a wholesome person, I strive for that and I try to show the same face everytime, just with slight variances and shades of course, but the same core when I’m at work, when I’m partying, when I’m resting with friends and when I’m with myself looking back on my way. I wrote this in the beginning of my blog and I meant it – this is also a trip to becoming the person I want to be, not only about the good things I’ve learned and acquired but how to cope and improve the lesser good parts in me and around. The balance so far is that I’m learning to reject those things which I don’t identify with: behaviours, mindsets, feelings, statuses quo. I have to question them and I won’t settle for the norm of not doing so. But this is far from peaceful sometimes...
And I thought as well about some news I just got today – something that made me have a mix of feelings in the beginning, very honestly, but then made me be quite happy for two friends of mine who are now together and it is a rather complicated situation (a Jordanian with a non Jordanian), that I really just wish them the best of luck! I also thought about the fact that I still don’t know any other Portuguese in Amman except for my consul and his family (but they are actually not Portuguese at all, rather Jordanians, so it’s still not the same) and how strange this is – would it be better or worse to have some other home citizens around? I have never much thought of this before, but can someone be lonely for not knowing their unknown compatriots who by random chance live in the same city or country as them?
Then I thought about how tired I’ve been recently, how much I have been abusing of computers since all my work revolves around them and I need them for the biggest to the smallest things: sending emails and communicating with members, checking facebook and being updated on my friends’ news from around the world while I also update them with the most (ir)relevant info that I highlight from my days (yes, here as well :P).. That I have to use it to talk to my mom in particular but I was unable to do so since I got back about 2/3 weeks ago because of other things and now coz I have no internet at home. That I also use it to check pictures people tag me in (and to upload the pics I’m still supposed to show about my Jordan!), so in the end it's like a life in itself, a life behind a screen :S
I was trying to close my eyes on parts of the concert, which might be why I found the 2nd pianist much more vibrant (I missed part of the first)– but then I guess it’s also my eyes and I like to see those people that put their lives and souls into what they do… and I thought about things that I may be doing wrong here, how to fix uncomfortable situations (what’s the point of enduring them, even if for only 4 months and something now?) and if the end of my Jordanian life will still have a twist like in the Hollywood films.
Don’t get me wrong, this has been an amazing experience and I will probably look back on this year filled with nostalgia, but this has also been one of the toughest, unclear and exhausting years I’ve ever had, in many ways it has been impacting me for the best and worst reasons and that is why Jordan will always be in my heart and like a local I will never really quite get it entirely.
And what’s best, I can’t read the end of the book yet and I am not sure how it’s going to end up – this is the best suspense story I’ve ever lived.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
accidental learning
In Jordan, I’ve been travelling, working, meeting new people, trying to speak Arabic, walking through unwalkable places, forgetting to take photos and having great talks. But most of all I think I’ve been learning, so many and so diverse things that most often I realize that an international experience is like a full-time job, doesn’t give you too much rest to the mind!
So I’ll share some of the things I’ve been learning but don’t be shocked about how small or meaningless they may seem. Now I’m curious to see if I’ll also be learning as much when I come back to Portugal again and if throughout my life I’ll keep on learning as many silly things, if I’ll keep looking at things the same way as if I was still ten.
So after 7 months and 25 days, this is a list of the things I’ve learned (and can remember right now). I learned that:
… my hand after eating mansaf the traditional way feels like I’ve been swimming: warm and wrinkly :)
… my closest friends most often won’t be the people I work or live with – there must actually be a logical explanation for this because it’s not boredom but it happens quite easily!
… I like to pretend that I am a local and feel really proud of myself to talk for a brief while in Arabic until they uncover me or I do it myself :P (but sometimes they don’t =D)
… I can still share my 3JDs left with someone who has only 1JD not out of pure friendship but for common understanding
… I feel more cozy travelling in the dark, unpredictable and sex-biased buses than by taxi
… a cat sometimes just needs to play and I should too!
… sometimes it’s better to tell things that will make people worried about me because they will sooner or later and then they will be mad at me!
… sometimes I can’t help but to be selfish and not want to sharing
… there are unthinkable ways to bring affinity between 2 people but there are also the fastest ways to lose it again
… after being asked “where are you from?”, Jordanians will automatically reply “welcome” – no matter in what context and how well you know them
… I think I can be authentic and still hide very well something (and I still didn’t understand whether this is a strength or a huge flaw)
… I don’t know how to reply positively to compliments, but I prefer them to nothing
… I can deal with lack of material things (most things, sometimes even food), but I cannot deal with lack of teamwork and cooperation
… no matter how much I try certain behaviours around me don’t change – and even knowing so I will continue trying to change them
… I don’t and will keep avoiding as much as possible to ask favours from others
… I recognize that affection is so different in some parts of Europe and here in the Middle East, even when the underlying feelings are as strong
… I can be bad at managing the time, but when it comes to people I have to compensate them (unless I forget!)
… I keep forgetting to check up on the fire while cooking and I normally don’t stay longer than 2 consecutive minutes in the kitchen – and this has consequences most often! :S
… I usually multi-task and if I don’t I feel like I’m wasting my time
… my mood can change by the most random talk, a good company even if for an hour or kind words through the screen at times
… crying in front of the laptop screen can be less sad than in front of someone but laughing in front of the same screen never gets as good as the real thing
… I never thought I would take so long to focus and start improving my Arabic
… I have a thing for rooftops
… even if I am a breakfast-person (love long, full breakfasts), I now can go out without taking it – but still I don’t want to change that
… this has been as much of a cultural experience for me as for the ones working closely with me – dealing with a Portuguese in Jordan is as unique as a Portuguese living in Jordan!
Now I’m leaving for some more learning, will tell you about later, when it hits me :)
So I’ll share some of the things I’ve been learning but don’t be shocked about how small or meaningless they may seem. Now I’m curious to see if I’ll also be learning as much when I come back to Portugal again and if throughout my life I’ll keep on learning as many silly things, if I’ll keep looking at things the same way as if I was still ten.
So after 7 months and 25 days, this is a list of the things I’ve learned (and can remember right now). I learned that:
… my hand after eating mansaf the traditional way feels like I’ve been swimming: warm and wrinkly :)
… my closest friends most often won’t be the people I work or live with – there must actually be a logical explanation for this because it’s not boredom but it happens quite easily!
… I like to pretend that I am a local and feel really proud of myself to talk for a brief while in Arabic until they uncover me or I do it myself :P (but sometimes they don’t =D)
… I can still share my 3JDs left with someone who has only 1JD not out of pure friendship but for common understanding
… I feel more cozy travelling in the dark, unpredictable and sex-biased buses than by taxi
… a cat sometimes just needs to play and I should too!
… sometimes it’s better to tell things that will make people worried about me because they will sooner or later and then they will be mad at me!
… sometimes I can’t help but to be selfish and not want to sharing
… there are unthinkable ways to bring affinity between 2 people but there are also the fastest ways to lose it again
… after being asked “where are you from?”, Jordanians will automatically reply “welcome” – no matter in what context and how well you know them
… I think I can be authentic and still hide very well something (and I still didn’t understand whether this is a strength or a huge flaw)
… I don’t know how to reply positively to compliments, but I prefer them to nothing
… I can deal with lack of material things (most things, sometimes even food), but I cannot deal with lack of teamwork and cooperation
… no matter how much I try certain behaviours around me don’t change – and even knowing so I will continue trying to change them
… I don’t and will keep avoiding as much as possible to ask favours from others
… I recognize that affection is so different in some parts of Europe and here in the Middle East, even when the underlying feelings are as strong
… I can be bad at managing the time, but when it comes to people I have to compensate them (unless I forget!)
… I keep forgetting to check up on the fire while cooking and I normally don’t stay longer than 2 consecutive minutes in the kitchen – and this has consequences most often! :S
… I usually multi-task and if I don’t I feel like I’m wasting my time
… my mood can change by the most random talk, a good company even if for an hour or kind words through the screen at times
… crying in front of the laptop screen can be less sad than in front of someone but laughing in front of the same screen never gets as good as the real thing
… I never thought I would take so long to focus and start improving my Arabic
… I have a thing for rooftops
… even if I am a breakfast-person (love long, full breakfasts), I now can go out without taking it – but still I don’t want to change that
… this has been as much of a cultural experience for me as for the ones working closely with me – dealing with a Portuguese in Jordan is as unique as a Portuguese living in Jordan!
Now I’m leaving for some more learning, will tell you about later, when it hits me :)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
decided
Birthdays have this impact on me, they make me think even more than usual. But because thinking is not enough, i came to some decisions, which I will struggle to keep maybe not only for one year like NY's resolutions but for longer... we'll see!
I decided that I won't allow myself being influenced by the laziness, my limitations and the longing for something different in doing what I initially wanted to do.
I decided that I will use my free time better and spend most of it on the sun, learning Arabic, travelling and being with my people here.
I decided to realize that I am not the best flatmate neither and it's so hard, it requires patience and some compromise to live with someone you are supposed to, not that you chose.
I decided that sometimes the best is to be fake and pleasant because a shared untruth sometimes is as best as it gets.
I decided that I will stop thinking I know what's best for me but keep my eyes wide open for the opportunities that could be.
I decided that as much as I like cats or even dogs, I can only stay indoor and take care of them for a while.
I decided that I miss and need home so it's ok to question your decisions and rethink plans, undecide... it'll come to me sooner or later.
I decided to realize that I care about what people think, but even so to keep on being as I am - how strange, awkward and none of your business it may seem.
I decided that nothing's irremediably lost but the fact is that we're just losing time that won't come back.
I decided that there's a limit to what you can compromise culturally speaking, then it makes no longer sense, because you might give in what is authentic in you - and people aren't allowed to ask that from you.
I decided that you can keep hope but illusions are an unnecessary waste of time.
I decided to admit that I miss you and maybe that's not a problem but the solution.
I decided that I won't allow myself being influenced by the laziness, my limitations and the longing for something different in doing what I initially wanted to do.
I decided that I will use my free time better and spend most of it on the sun, learning Arabic, travelling and being with my people here.
I decided to realize that I am not the best flatmate neither and it's so hard, it requires patience and some compromise to live with someone you are supposed to, not that you chose.
I decided that sometimes the best is to be fake and pleasant because a shared untruth sometimes is as best as it gets.
I decided that I will stop thinking I know what's best for me but keep my eyes wide open for the opportunities that could be.
I decided that as much as I like cats or even dogs, I can only stay indoor and take care of them for a while.
I decided that I miss and need home so it's ok to question your decisions and rethink plans, undecide... it'll come to me sooner or later.
I decided to realize that I care about what people think, but even so to keep on being as I am - how strange, awkward and none of your business it may seem.
I decided that nothing's irremediably lost but the fact is that we're just losing time that won't come back.
I decided that there's a limit to what you can compromise culturally speaking, then it makes no longer sense, because you might give in what is authentic in you - and people aren't allowed to ask that from you.
I decided that you can keep hope but illusions are an unnecessary waste of time.
I decided to admit that I miss you and maybe that's not a problem but the solution.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
city girl meets the desert
It's been such a longtime I know. And a lot of travelling (at last!), X-mas parties and New Year's by the beach have happened.
But this is also not a travel book, so I will just highlight what I feel like, if you don't mind, the beautiful places that I've been to here in Jordan and the fact that again my internet connection is not working properly will allow you to imagine those places the way you want them to be. Free your mind =)
So I had some vacation time lately, first one in November (called Eid-al-Adha) which is the weekend where they slaughter lambs and then share the meat with family, friends and even unknown poor people - I watche a film of it and still cannot believe they do it with the whole family watching. Then I went to Wadi Rum and had like 4 hours in Aqaba (and some extra 8h for sleeping). So mainly I can say I was in deep awe with Wadi Rum, perhaps even in love.
Wadi Rum is one of the places I have most been longing for since I arrived to Jordan. I knew that it would be great, but still I didn't expect to like it so much. It's absolutely, unforgettably, irresistibly magnificent!
Wherever you look you'll find something beautiful, more beautiful than the previous or just the kind of thing you once saw in photos, not really sure if it actually really existed. And when you join that to a great company (3, and at a certain point 4, travelling companions), it just makes the perfect vacation. By the time that things get hectic around me, work pressure increases and much is happening at a fast pace, I got my own piece of paradise, in the middle of nowhere and this city girl, this girl that loves theatres and cultural animations, who likes nature because it's so inconstant, just fell in love with the peace and quietness of the desert, the cinematic Rum.
I could honestly even stay there on a full-retreat week... and believe me, I'm not the buddhist or self-contemplative type. Then we came back to Aqaba and I put my feet on the Red Sea water, which was a relief for this Portuguese who was missing terribly her Atlantic ocean, the waves, the sand, the sound of the sea. I had a little bit of the sea sound, that's already not bad :)
Then I went back to Amman, life went on, a great conference was organized and delivered, many emotional moments and Christmas approaching, my first one away from home, kind of unplanned but it all turned out an interesting experience. I cannot lie and say it was the same as coming back home or that I didn't miss people, places, decorations, food, presents or just previously slightly annoying tasks like putting up the nativity scene by the fireplace or trying to get accross a whole sentence and answer from my great grandmother (who's becoming a bit deaf but Christmas is one of the rare times I get to see her and smile at her, mostly that cause communication is faint ha).
I missed all of those things and it's fine I did, it means no matter how much or less I value the whole season these traditions are part of my history, a good part of it, and I'll either soon be able to recreate them for myself or I will cherish even more when I go back and spend it again with my loved ones. Being away is not the end of the world to me, if you know me you know this about me, but I hope this also makes me become more caring about those moments I will not have back, those people that I wish I could bring in my pocket wherever I go (as that would just be the ideal solution).
So for X-mas I had an international dinner on the 24th, a bit Christmassy but not so much. Still the cooking and the friends made it interesting, the final food "output" not so much hehe, but this is the uniqueness of celebrating Christmas away from family. If you're wondering, Portuguese reader, I prepared pastéis de pescada (à falta de bacalhau :P), arroz de tomate and then chamuças/sambosa (this last one not Portuguese at all, but easy to do and those were the ingredients I had at hand).
Then for the 25th, we had a lunch with the team I work with and a Tunisian friend, so actually the only Christian in the room was myself. To make it even more typical :P, I prepared a curry dish with the help of Dana, one of my colleagues, and then roasted chestnuts - which for me equal Christmas and yummy wherever I may be. And for them it seemed to have worked as well, so I was happy :) So if you're wondering if I'm a lousy cook or just a lousy Portuguese-cuisine cook I have to say - come and search for the ingredients - because the most typical things, are either not eaten by locals (like pork), very expensive (meat in general and chicken just seems wrong as a replacement), or they are simply very hard to find (like the codfish and the ingredients for cozido).
Anyway, it was a cozy late lunch (at least this part screams Portugal and especially my place) and then I had the opportunity to meet friends and have great conversations, as well as missing for the 4th time or so going to the church- I still have not managed to successfully attend one single mass - I found the church nearby, now the issue is what kind of schedule do they work with, every single time I pass by the church it's closed and with no indication or sign of contacts/open hours. So it's getting annoying even for a not so religious person.
Lastly, about one week ago we had New Year's. Me and most of my friends here worked the 31st and then we headed off as fast as the rental tires could roll to Aqaba, to at last feel the wonders of the beach side at the earliest of 2010. SO we got there finally about 30 minutes before midnight and we went straight to the beach for champagne, photos and final countdown. Then some went inside the water - the next day when I walked there I realized how painful it must have been to enter that water yayks coz the usual sand is for some reason very rare there - and the others joined a fireplace with some reggae tunes as background. (Small remark: Wadi Rum and other parts of the desert are about 40 km away and there you got sand till where the eye can reach).
The party continued - obviously - but the best came next day, when we woke up to see an amazing summer day (day 1 of 2010), had breakfast by the swimming pool and commented on the weird tourist who went inside that freezing water while some of the group threw some sarcastic, sleep-deprived but still funny jokes as we took our first bite on our first bread & hoummus of the year. And then we crossed the street and went to sleep/sunbathe/swim/dive/walk in the beach. Main thing, we were in the beach, it was almost too hot at a certain point and we had a nice bunch of people, representing our own little international community here in Jordan - 4 Jordanians included btw.
I had to leave that same day, had the first grilled fish that evening in Aqaba city centre in my 6-month Middle East history (and it was very good!) and we came back, arriving to cold and foggy Amman by 2am. The next day, I went to Irbid - I like coming back to that city, there's something about it -, very sleepy in the morning, a bit more awaken in the afternoon and so tired in the evening when I got home again to Amman.
So these were my holidays: exciting, extenuating at times, short and in very good company. I had fun and still I missed home - it's maybe not the best time to be away from home but it was an atypical, surprising and different time here in Jordan. I even got to taste Samo, these kind of chocolate pyramids kids eat here a lot! They are delicious, and Christmas for me is always delicious =)
And one of my NY's resolutions... I'll try my best to write here more often and with more pictures :)
Have a bold and ravishing 2010! :)
But this is also not a travel book, so I will just highlight what I feel like, if you don't mind, the beautiful places that I've been to here in Jordan and the fact that again my internet connection is not working properly will allow you to imagine those places the way you want them to be. Free your mind =)
So I had some vacation time lately, first one in November (called Eid-al-Adha) which is the weekend where they slaughter lambs and then share the meat with family, friends and even unknown poor people - I watche a film of it and still cannot believe they do it with the whole family watching. Then I went to Wadi Rum and had like 4 hours in Aqaba (and some extra 8h for sleeping). So mainly I can say I was in deep awe with Wadi Rum, perhaps even in love.
Wadi Rum is one of the places I have most been longing for since I arrived to Jordan. I knew that it would be great, but still I didn't expect to like it so much. It's absolutely, unforgettably, irresistibly magnificent!
Wherever you look you'll find something beautiful, more beautiful than the previous or just the kind of thing you once saw in photos, not really sure if it actually really existed. And when you join that to a great company (3, and at a certain point 4, travelling companions), it just makes the perfect vacation. By the time that things get hectic around me, work pressure increases and much is happening at a fast pace, I got my own piece of paradise, in the middle of nowhere and this city girl, this girl that loves theatres and cultural animations, who likes nature because it's so inconstant, just fell in love with the peace and quietness of the desert, the cinematic Rum.
I could honestly even stay there on a full-retreat week... and believe me, I'm not the buddhist or self-contemplative type. Then we came back to Aqaba and I put my feet on the Red Sea water, which was a relief for this Portuguese who was missing terribly her Atlantic ocean, the waves, the sand, the sound of the sea. I had a little bit of the sea sound, that's already not bad :)
Then I went back to Amman, life went on, a great conference was organized and delivered, many emotional moments and Christmas approaching, my first one away from home, kind of unplanned but it all turned out an interesting experience. I cannot lie and say it was the same as coming back home or that I didn't miss people, places, decorations, food, presents or just previously slightly annoying tasks like putting up the nativity scene by the fireplace or trying to get accross a whole sentence and answer from my great grandmother (who's becoming a bit deaf but Christmas is one of the rare times I get to see her and smile at her, mostly that cause communication is faint ha).
I missed all of those things and it's fine I did, it means no matter how much or less I value the whole season these traditions are part of my history, a good part of it, and I'll either soon be able to recreate them for myself or I will cherish even more when I go back and spend it again with my loved ones. Being away is not the end of the world to me, if you know me you know this about me, but I hope this also makes me become more caring about those moments I will not have back, those people that I wish I could bring in my pocket wherever I go (as that would just be the ideal solution).
So for X-mas I had an international dinner on the 24th, a bit Christmassy but not so much. Still the cooking and the friends made it interesting, the final food "output" not so much hehe, but this is the uniqueness of celebrating Christmas away from family. If you're wondering, Portuguese reader, I prepared pastéis de pescada (à falta de bacalhau :P), arroz de tomate and then chamuças/sambosa (this last one not Portuguese at all, but easy to do and those were the ingredients I had at hand).
Then for the 25th, we had a lunch with the team I work with and a Tunisian friend, so actually the only Christian in the room was myself. To make it even more typical :P, I prepared a curry dish with the help of Dana, one of my colleagues, and then roasted chestnuts - which for me equal Christmas and yummy wherever I may be. And for them it seemed to have worked as well, so I was happy :) So if you're wondering if I'm a lousy cook or just a lousy Portuguese-cuisine cook I have to say - come and search for the ingredients - because the most typical things, are either not eaten by locals (like pork), very expensive (meat in general and chicken just seems wrong as a replacement), or they are simply very hard to find (like the codfish and the ingredients for cozido).
Anyway, it was a cozy late lunch (at least this part screams Portugal and especially my place) and then I had the opportunity to meet friends and have great conversations, as well as missing for the 4th time or so going to the church- I still have not managed to successfully attend one single mass - I found the church nearby, now the issue is what kind of schedule do they work with, every single time I pass by the church it's closed and with no indication or sign of contacts/open hours. So it's getting annoying even for a not so religious person.
Lastly, about one week ago we had New Year's. Me and most of my friends here worked the 31st and then we headed off as fast as the rental tires could roll to Aqaba, to at last feel the wonders of the beach side at the earliest of 2010. SO we got there finally about 30 minutes before midnight and we went straight to the beach for champagne, photos and final countdown. Then some went inside the water - the next day when I walked there I realized how painful it must have been to enter that water yayks coz the usual sand is for some reason very rare there - and the others joined a fireplace with some reggae tunes as background. (Small remark: Wadi Rum and other parts of the desert are about 40 km away and there you got sand till where the eye can reach).
The party continued - obviously - but the best came next day, when we woke up to see an amazing summer day (day 1 of 2010), had breakfast by the swimming pool and commented on the weird tourist who went inside that freezing water while some of the group threw some sarcastic, sleep-deprived but still funny jokes as we took our first bite on our first bread & hoummus of the year. And then we crossed the street and went to sleep/sunbathe/swim/dive/walk in the beach. Main thing, we were in the beach, it was almost too hot at a certain point and we had a nice bunch of people, representing our own little international community here in Jordan - 4 Jordanians included btw.
I had to leave that same day, had the first grilled fish that evening in Aqaba city centre in my 6-month Middle East history (and it was very good!) and we came back, arriving to cold and foggy Amman by 2am. The next day, I went to Irbid - I like coming back to that city, there's something about it -, very sleepy in the morning, a bit more awaken in the afternoon and so tired in the evening when I got home again to Amman.
So these were my holidays: exciting, extenuating at times, short and in very good company. I had fun and still I missed home - it's maybe not the best time to be away from home but it was an atypical, surprising and different time here in Jordan. I even got to taste Samo, these kind of chocolate pyramids kids eat here a lot! They are delicious, and Christmas for me is always delicious =)
And one of my NY's resolutions... I'll try my best to write here more often and with more pictures :)
Have a bold and ravishing 2010! :)
What if God was one of us?
Religion is everywhere here. From the smallest remarks (insh'allah in the end of many sentences) to the big things, the most different aspects of living here (Ramadan, the call for prayer in the mosks, the "hijab" - scarf used by many girls).
And so this is something highly different for me, used to having my own personal religion. This video probably reflects how I feel about this topic and the unique distance that lays between us on this very specific, very important, but sometimes most overrated matter.
If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him
In all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that
you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets
Trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome
And so this is something highly different for me, used to having my own personal religion. This video probably reflects how I feel about this topic and the unique distance that lays between us on this very specific, very important, but sometimes most overrated matter.
If God had a name what would it be?
And would you call it to his face?
If you were faced with him
In all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question?
And yeah, yeah, God is great
Yeah, yeah, God is good
Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah-yeah
What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that
you would have to believe
in things like heaven and in Jesus and the saints
and all the prophets
Trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
'cept for the Pope maybe in Rome
Friday, November 13, 2009
in the heart of a promegranate
Gibran Khalil Gibran is an Arabic poet (Lebanese-American). This is an excerpt written by him which I really liked just as an example and it's very appropriate since my surname Granada means pomegranate :) (besides grenade as in bomb :P)
Once when I was living in the heart of a pomegranate, I heard a seed saying, "Someday I shall become a tree, and the wind will sing in my branches, and the sun will dance on my leaves, and I shall be strong and beautiful through all the seasons."
Then another seed spoke and said, "When I was as young as you, I too held such views; but now that I can weigh and measure things, I see that my hopes were vain."
And a third seed spoke also, "I see in us nothing that promises so great a future."
And a fourth said, "But what a mockery our life would be, without a greater future!"
Said a fifth, "Why dispute what we shall be, when we know not even what we are."
But a sixth replied, "Whatever we are, that we shall continue to be."
And a seventh said, "I have such a clear idea how everything will be, but I cannot put it into words."
Then an eighth spoke - -and a ninth -- and a tenth -- and then many -- until all were speaking, and I could distinguish nothing for the many voices.
And so I moved that very day into the heart of a quince, where the seeds are few and almost silent.
THE POMEGRANATE
Once when I was living in the heart of a pomegranate, I heard a seed saying, "Someday I shall become a tree, and the wind will sing in my branches, and the sun will dance on my leaves, and I shall be strong and beautiful through all the seasons."
Then another seed spoke and said, "When I was as young as you, I too held such views; but now that I can weigh and measure things, I see that my hopes were vain."
And a third seed spoke also, "I see in us nothing that promises so great a future."
And a fourth said, "But what a mockery our life would be, without a greater future!"
Said a fifth, "Why dispute what we shall be, when we know not even what we are."
But a sixth replied, "Whatever we are, that we shall continue to be."
And a seventh said, "I have such a clear idea how everything will be, but I cannot put it into words."
Then an eighth spoke - -and a ninth -- and a tenth -- and then many -- until all were speaking, and I could distinguish nothing for the many voices.
And so I moved that very day into the heart of a quince, where the seeds are few and almost silent.
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