something's wrong with the world today and I don't know what it is

I was watching the news today and the G20 are gathering once more. Now they are negotiating about a world without nuclear weapons, avoiding to talk about the world bank system and dwelling again with another episode of the Israeli-Palestinian endless conflict.

There have also been many floods in different countries and elections are knocking on the door.

But for the first time a vaccin against the HIV seems to be able to reduce the risk of infection and H1N1 vaccination will start in October. So good news from the labs!

Still it doesn't really matter today. I still feel bored and not in the mood. I'll care later but not today, not this moment, not now.

Because we can have so many words and still don't talk, we can have so much in common and still not do the effort, we can have the highest reasons and still nothing changes. Unless we do.

And I won't talk about the food this time, coz I don't feel like eating. I won't enjoy a movie when it's not a TV that I want in front of me. I won't feel at home not because I miss too much somewherelse but because here there is not the place for me I thought I'd find. I won't talk it over to find that nothing really changes. And I won't really appreciate all that you may seem because I still don't know you.

I don't know where to start so I'll just jump to the middle. I wanna walk again but not feel like I need instead of staying in, I don't want to feel like I need a cat or some other prop to make it better, and I don't want to keep saying goodbye to those I start caring about to be left with those I ought to care for. Because the ought doesn't work anymore and there is no in-between, you either care or you don't.

So how do we do start caring (again)?
I'm willing to... but if and only if you are too...

snapshots of a Jordanian life (written on a mini-bus to Marj al Hamam)

• Ramadan Kareem sung on the streets while we pass by
• finding my adopted sister is Russian (!) and I met her here in Jordan :)
• let's order: "wahed humus, khamse falafel, ithnin chai o (and)... bread, how do you say bread?? :D
• driving back on a car with another 6 people and trying the whole way to hide from the police
• teaching the price of the bus to another foreigner who spoke Arabic and was wondering if 35 piasters means taht he's being robbed by the bus boy
• taking a taxi and telling the driver the directions by simple words like schmal (left), douguri (straight ahead), ayemin (right), la (no) and nus-nus (half-half, but for me works as well as "sort of")
• telling the taxi driver to head to McDonald's as a reference point to where I was going during the day in Ramadan, with him replying back "Ramadan Kareem", as in "it's Ramadan and you're going to Mac and break the fast?..."
• realizing that Jordanian kids are very similar to Portuguese ones (and in fact children all over)... they can go from angels to brats in seconds! Still we like them =)
• trying to upload photos of some iftars at 3am on the 27th Ramadan
• drinking tea and talking about the world and nothing on the terrace, while we hear the prayer of the mosk nearby

Tomorrow is Eid, the official end of Ramadan month. I think I'll miss it later during my year here... on the other hand, now travelling will be much easier! wohoo!!

these feet were made for walking

So Amman is not the best city to walk through.

You don't have sidewalks on some streets, but still it's fine; if a taxi sees you busy walking the driver will start honking because he automatically assumes you probably were searching for one and even though you know exactly which direction to go you'll find yourself sometimes making huge unnecessary turns around to get to a certain place, because there is an unexpected hill between the streets you wanted to cross or the road you're taking suddenly becomes a dead end.

So in the end you'll walk more. And the beauty is that you walk up and down the hills, between the houses, and get a superb view of the green lights coming from the mosks, also the shining crescent moons and stars that are the typical symbols of Ramadan and the city lights at the distance.

The weather is soft and fresh during the nights and the sun is kind during the days. If it wouldn't be for Ramadan and wanting to know what fasting feels like, I would spend my free time outside as much as possible.

But I did break my fast already. Two days ago I walked for 4 hours to renew my visa (currently applying for residency but it's taking ages), I didn't buy a bottle of water coz you are not supposed to drink in the streets during the daytime out of respect so I got back home completely dry, drank loads of water, threw water over my face and all over and rest my feet.

In half an hour I was alive again, took a shower and prepared myself for an Iftar out of home. Iftar (breakfast because it's the first meal of the day) takes place after the fasting and now with Ramadan in August it starts a bit after 7pm.

This is when we break the fast, then we can eat and drink normally the whole night and the fasting restarts at around 4am. At first I was waking up to eat something then or staying up till then, but now it's already easy if you eat just before going to bed, at 1am or around. The working schedule gets slightly shorter, you still start around 9am but finish at 3 or 4pm.

It's family time but it ends up being a really short meal because everyone is so hungry that in 15mins they are finished eating. This is so non-Portuguese style... or at least Granada style, where a meal takes hours if we allow it :D

But the point was, and going back to the walking aspect of it, Amman is a beautiful city to discover on foot. Even if the streets or the taxidrivers make you think otherwise, with Ramadan or without or when you get 7 people in a row telling you the wrong directions and out of their unique kindness wanting to call a taxi for you... as long as you can admire the view on the other side of the hill or the fresh breeze ("nessma") in your face it will have been worthwhile and three hours sooner or later you'll get there, based on hints and without a map.

And the wonderful thing is that you got everything it takes to get you there: your feet and your eyes to admire the view.